Surprise! We're expecting baby O'Quinn May 2021 + are half way there! We’re 20 weeks in our pregnancy, celebrated our one year homeowners anniversary + today is Mike's birthday. I've missed writing blogs, recording Soul Substance videos + sharing stories with y'all. More of that to come in the coming weeks + we have so much to catch up on!
My Biggest Fear
If you've been following my journey you may have noticed I never talked about motherhood. To be honest, it was my biggest fear - bringing a child in this world after losing my mother. I couldn't see how I was going to do it without her. I had so many questions for her and it was easier to say next year I'll focus on it.
I went for my annual exam earlier this year and my Dr. just said it, "O'Quinn what are you waiting on because you’ll be 35 soon?"Dr. Jackie Walters has been my doctor for 15 years and knows me very well. I told her the truth and she gave me my pep talk just like she did after I lost mom.
The Big Mindset Shift
In May I celebrated my 35th birthday and a few things shifted my mindset from fear to fearless. I had a really good talk with my sister and just told her everything I was scared of. Not being able to call mom for advise, decorating the baby room without her, breast feeding, changing diapers and the list goes on. She was right there with me and shared hers too.
I read Chop Wood, Carry Water. Thank you CJ for recommending this book to me. I switched my to-do list for a can-do list and started releasing my negative thoughts about motherhood.
I reached out to my soul sister Mia. We both lost our mother's to ovarian cancer + are married millennials. I needed to know how she was handling her journey and she let me know I’m not alone. Thank you Mia for being a listening ear + I did exactly what you told me to do lol.
The change wasn't easy but it was necessary to make space for what my heart really wanted.
Story about the Pratt's
We closed on our home December 18, 2019. The previous owners were the Pratt's and the energy in this home felt nothing like the houses we toured previously. Love was present for sure. During the closing process they blessed us as parents before we thought of trying.
While waiting on our inspector, who was an hour late, James + Felicia Pratt shared why they were selling their home and more about themselves. They were moving to be closer to their church in Gainesville, Ga and had struggled with fertility after their son. Every night their son would make them pray for a baby sister or brother. There we were sitting in the backyard and Felicia was pregnant.
They believed it was possible and their prayers would be answered. I was trying to hold back tears because I was thinking about my mama.
Almost an hour in of exchanging stories, Felicia and I were both in tears. We hugged and she looked me in my eye and said, “God told me
to tell you this is where you’ll raise your family.” Welp, there was the ugly cry.
We got in the car and Mike asked, "How and why do people always open up to you?" I still don't know the answer to this but I don't take it lightly either. They welcomed a baby girl earlier this year and sent us a family photo. This week we shared our news that we’re expecting in May.
I’ll be sharing more lessons I’ve learned, our gender reveal + being pregnant during a pandemic so make sure you subscribe. To my favorite girl in the world, thank you for your continued guidance. Now that I understand children choose their parents, I’m thankful I chose you and this child chose us. I love you mama.
Much love,
Susie's Daughter
this is bigger than me