There is nothing like a mother’s love. It’s warm, reassuring, and trusting. I feel the knot forming in my throat as I think of my mama more this Mother’s Day. I know this day may hit harder during the pandemic because we aren’t able to participate in our normal activities so that’s why I decided to publish this.
If you’re reading this you’ve come here for guidance, support, and tips on what to do for Mother’s Day. I’m entering my fourth year in a few days without my best friend and I’ve learned so much since publishing my first Mother's Day blog. Here's my advice for you.
Forgive yourself
For quite some time I blamed myself for what I could or should have done during the time she was physically here. When my mother was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer the second time I didn’t live in Atlanta. I would visit often but after her transition I beat myself up for not moving back home sooner. In the past year I’ve taken the time to forgive myself while acknowledging her passing was not my fault. I’ve adopted this mindset because it was needed in order to continue healing.
Extend the emotional support you needed
We’ve all needed a little more time, compassion, empathy, love, and a listening ear. I've learned on this journey just because someone mistreated you at a time of need doesn't mean you pass that same energy along. You can make a difference in someone’s day by showing in your actions you care. Plus, it doesn’t cost you a thing. I know this is about you but remember, what we seek in life we must give. Therefore, if you know someone has been going through a difficult time – giving them time to work through their thoughts will go far.
Never stop working on you
Healing is an ongoing process. There is no expiration date and it’s important you know this. Sit in your moments of happiness and don’t beat yourself up when you are down. I ask you to never stop working on yourself because the very moment you do and another life changing event happens, you may fall back into that deep depression. Working on you is not selfish, it is healthy.
Carry on the legacy
One day you will sit down and give yourself an ultimatum. Either I can live in misery or I can honor my mama. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get to this point, what matters is you made the decision to live. Choosing to carry on their legacy can be in any form you see fit. When you do it from the heart and with the best intentions -- that's all that matters.
On this Mother’s Day I pray you find comfort and peace knowing you aren’t alone on this journey. Remember, your healing is not to be hurried and take care.
I dedicate those post to my mama, Susie Ann Amin. I love and miss you.
Much love,
soqweenly