The year is going by so fast and I really can’t believe we’re almost in May. While preparing for my last blog post, I was at the table putting the finishing touches on my post and I hear a Macy’s Mother’s Day commercial. I immediately thought, “Is it that time of year again?”. I knew I needed to write the Mother’s Day post soon.
All holidays are different for anyone that’s lost a loved one. To be honest, if you’re like me, you’ve been thinking about all the holidays for the year and trying to see what you’re going to do.
For me, Mother’s Day is still very tough. My last memory of Mother’s Day is walking into Northside Hospital with my family thinking the doctor would relieve the pain my mother was in and a few hours later we would be home. It didn’t play out that way and she was admitted Mother’s Day 2016.
I’m coming up on my third Mother’s Day and I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do. The one thing I knew I would do is release a topic about it because it can be a very emotional day. It’s easy for others to tell you what you should be doing but take it from me, they don’t understand what they don’t know. If they haven’t lost a mother, they are not going to understand.
You are constantly being marketed to about Mother’s Day from TV commercials, retail emails, billboards, and radio advertisement. These are all triggers for us, and this is the reason why I am writing this. Here are my angel mom suggestions for Mother’s Day:
Plan to do one of her favorite things. My mother loved the outdoors and had a green thumb. Last year, I had a work trip that started the day after Mother’s Day in Phoenix. My husband and I flew to Arizona early and planned an entire weekend. We did a 2-hour Arizona Desert Guided Tour by ATV with Arizona Outdoor Fun and it was really fun. It felt so good to be outside. The weather was perfect, and the scenery was beautiful. I could only say thank you mama for making me smile.
Wear a piece of clothing she loved. Mama’s have no problem saying what looks good and not so good on us – well at least my mom did lol. She loved hats and has hundreds of them. Every time I wear a hat, I always hear how much I look like her and there’s absolutely no greater compliment to be given. Plus, I feel good and can hear her saying, “You look good in that hat. Let me put on mine too.”
Spend time with family.This suggestion can be tough because the family dynamics change when you lose a parent – I know mine did drastically. My mother came from a large family,16 siblings to be exact. Plus, she has a twin.
My sister and I find it very comforting to be with them because they share memories of my mother growing up. The stories have us laughing and crying at the same time. Most importantly, we feel her love through their memories.
Do what makes you happy. Everyone deals with grief differently. I can give you so many suggestions, but you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. This is part of the process I wish someone shared with me. The need to be strong is overrated and sometimes you just want to let it all out. Listen to me, that is fine and normal. You may plan to do one thing and decide you don’t want to do anything. To be honest, you probably will decide what to do the morning of Mother’s Day. Choose to honor your mother the way you want to and don’t feel the pressure to participate in activities. This is all a process for each of us.
I’m sending you love and positivity on Mother’s Day. If you already have plans, please share them with us in the comments.